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M A R T I A L A R T S

M A R T I A L A R T S - Learn Ancient Asian Techniques - Develop Impressive Skills - Learn the Art of Control - Build Self-Confidence - Protect Yourself - Train with exotic Implements - Achieve your Maximum Potential New Class meets Tuesday and…

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SHORTS #2

An elderly man and his wife go to the doctor so he can get a check up. The doctor examined him thoroughly in the presence of his wife. "You're in perfect health!" said the doctor, "What do you attribute this to?" "It is the help of God." he says,…

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The Stella Awards

It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee.…

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Flying From San Francisco

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be…

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New Soap?

A mother thought her kids had given her soap as a present. But when she lathered up with it the next day, she got a huge surprise. Not everything is as it seems. One mother found this out the hard way recently when she received a very special…

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  • lol, funny Poppy, too funny, lol.

  • If you can make a fist, you can figure out if the time is right to be digging around your garden.

    Robin Potter, a Pennsylvania Horticultural Society lecturer, said soil needs to be warm to be worked, and the easiest way to determine that is to just grab a handful of it.

    Then, make a fist, she said.

    If the tube of soil that formed in your hand falls apart when you unclench your fist, the ground is warm. If the soil stays together and you can see your fingerprints in it, it's too cool to be worked.

    Sally McCabe, the horticultural society's community education project manager, has a simpler - and far funnier - method for vegetable gardeners. It's just a little, well, shocking.

    Tomatoes, she said, really shouldn't go into the ground until the soil is warm. So drop your pants and sit on the ground. If it's not cold enough to make you scream, it's warm enough to plant your tomatoes...

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  • One night a musher, who had spent many days on the trail, pulled into a small town that liked to tease strangers, which he was. Seeking refreshment, he entered the town's tavern and ordered a beer. Finishing his beer, he exited the tavern only to discover that his entire dog team was missing.

    He turned and walked back into the tavern and pulled a shotgun out from under his large coat. He tossed it into the air and caught it above his head, firing a shot into the ceiling.

    "I'm going to have another beer," he announced in a stern voice, "and when I'm done with it, I'm going back outside. I'd better see my dog team returned. If it isn't, I'm going to do what I had to do in Misvik, and believe me, I don't like to do what I had to do in Misvik."

    A few of the locals shuffled nervously in their seats as the stranger returned to the bar and ordered another beer and drank it as slowly and calmly as the first one. After finishing his beer, he left the tavern again, this time to find his team back where it originally was.

    Before he mushed off into the darkness, the bartender came outside and asked him "Before you go, stranger, tell me – what did you have to do in Misvik?"

    "I had to walk home."

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